You finally passed that big exam! Your last major academic hurdle. Man, I remember that feeling. It was the last reassurance I needed that I did in fact, succeed and earn those letters behind my name I worked so very hard for.
So then, the interview process began and that is when I felt like every call back I received was a miracle (haha, not really!) but, it just felt so exciting that people were interested in me joining their team. That meant they believed in me or saw what a potential asset I could be.
You weigh your options.. you get input from other friends going through the process.. you seek out opinions from others on Facebook groups, social media, and so on and so forth. You just really want to make a good decision. Now whether that decision is based on the highest paying job, mentorship, working with a team instead of being solo, etc. is a different story. But you landed a job. And you are so damn excited.
And then you start working.
And this is when the feeling of uncertainty, ambiguity, exhaustion, excitement, motivation, anxiety…. hit you. It feels like you are stuck in a chrysalis, desperately wanting to be a butterfly. But you just do not feel ready yet for that stage, even though it is inevitable.
Being a new graduate can be one of the most interesting and perplexing times in someones life. You are truly trying to figure out who are and where you belong. You are continuously seeking more and more information. You might think… “did graduate school really ever end?” I think at the beginning it can feel like this stage goes on forever, as you flip through your textbooks and read research articles at 10:00pm.
But then, you go in one day feeling SO confident! As if those puzzle pieces just aligned themselves and came out the box already positioned in the perfect spot to be pieced together. You receive compliments from patients or a coworker and everything just feels right. For at least a moment.
And then you will have a stressful week where everything just feels impossible, yet again.
The ebb and flow continues…. and continues… and continues. There is some sort of balance in that, right?
You may start to have doubts.
Is this the right profession for me?
Is the student debt worth it?
Will I truly be happy?
Because if I told you I hadn’t questioned my profession, I would be lying to you.
This is normal for many people. Anything that is new, will provoke discomfort. There will be a learning curve. There will be days where you rather just throw the towel in and work somewhere that you know is way less stressful.
I encourage you to keep going and believe in yourself.
And if you find that you are truly unhappy, then that is okay. Nobody can tell you what will provide you relief, happiness, and comfort other than yourself.
I hope you allow yourself to turn into that butterfly, wherever that may take place.
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